My cousin Bob wrote me that his older sister had died. She would have been 98 in July, 2012. What surprised him was that a large number of people came out for her funeral, held in the small LCMS church in her northwestern Illinois farmland area.
"She had no contemporaries," he said. "All her friends had died already. But people had loved her and they came, all ages came, to her funeral. Of course, she had five kids and they had kids and there were four generations of family, but friends and neighbors came, too."
Then my usually quiet and unemotional cousin Bob wrote that, when the service was over, the casket was carried across the road to the church cemetary. And as they carried my cousin Ann to her resting place, the church bells tolled 97 times, pealing out over the spring countryside. Not sad, but triumphant.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Anything for Attention
We had a cat that would meow endlessly, not to be fed nor to be allowed outside but to get some attention. She had a particularly raspy, invasive voice, and she used it to get some petting or to sleep on the bed with me or sit on my lap..on top of my book...or next to my face.
I had a neighbor once who must have been lonely because she watched my coming and going and came out of her house to talk to me at every opportunity. She asked personal questions and commented on my yard, my clothes, my car, my children, my marriage. She was nosey and persistent, annoying as the dickens. I just wished she would shut up.
There are people like that. They will sit on ledges of tall buildings, waiting to be coaxed away, or get so drunk they have to be taken home in an ambulance. They do ridiculous things, wanting to be noticed. I suspect that many of our public figures, whether in the media, in politics, in sports, talk the way they do, say the things they say, purely for affect. Trash talk is just another way to be noticed.
Which probably wouldn't make a lot of difference except they hurt other people. Their mothers probably would have washed their mouths out for the way they use epithets and dirty names and language even adults cringe to hear. Just because they don't like the way other people think, they trash them. Publicly and totally. They don't know the persons, they only know they want to ridicule or damage them.
It's wicked. And even a cat wanting attention could find a better way to get it.
I had a neighbor once who must have been lonely because she watched my coming and going and came out of her house to talk to me at every opportunity. She asked personal questions and commented on my yard, my clothes, my car, my children, my marriage. She was nosey and persistent, annoying as the dickens. I just wished she would shut up.
There are people like that. They will sit on ledges of tall buildings, waiting to be coaxed away, or get so drunk they have to be taken home in an ambulance. They do ridiculous things, wanting to be noticed. I suspect that many of our public figures, whether in the media, in politics, in sports, talk the way they do, say the things they say, purely for affect. Trash talk is just another way to be noticed.
Which probably wouldn't make a lot of difference except they hurt other people. Their mothers probably would have washed their mouths out for the way they use epithets and dirty names and language even adults cringe to hear. Just because they don't like the way other people think, they trash them. Publicly and totally. They don't know the persons, they only know they want to ridicule or damage them.
It's wicked. And even a cat wanting attention could find a better way to get it.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
TIME
When I returned to college, after twenty years of being a stay-at-home-mom, the first course I took was in general physical science with Dr. Yingling. And one of the first things he did was to take us to look at the replica of Faucault's Pendulum in the science building.
The second thing he did was to ask, "So, what is time?" There were lots of answers, most of them personal and specific. "Yes, but what is it? What is time?"
Finally he explained that time is, for most of us, a relative thing, insubstantial, necessary, loved and hated. His own definition was certainly insubstantial, I felt, but after many years of considering it, his answer was also the best.
Time is measured duration. We measure most things in life, and the duration of time is one of them. Consider how many of those measurements we use all the time: seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years, decades, centuries. Pulse and heartbeats. Steps and miles.
When we were little children, we thought Christmas would never come. How many days before Santa is here? When will I be old enough to stay at home alone? or to watch an adult movie? or get a job and make money? Or the dread, knowing there is a dental appointment or a colonoscopy only two days away, and it would most surely come too soon.
Time is also what we make of it, or what we let happen to it. Time is us. Every one of us is part of the time-line of this world. And we can't do anything about it except, perhaps, use it well and enjoy it.
(apologies for misspelling that eminent Frenchman's name)
The second thing he did was to ask, "So, what is time?" There were lots of answers, most of them personal and specific. "Yes, but what is it? What is time?"
Finally he explained that time is, for most of us, a relative thing, insubstantial, necessary, loved and hated. His own definition was certainly insubstantial, I felt, but after many years of considering it, his answer was also the best.
Time is measured duration. We measure most things in life, and the duration of time is one of them. Consider how many of those measurements we use all the time: seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years, decades, centuries. Pulse and heartbeats. Steps and miles.
When we were little children, we thought Christmas would never come. How many days before Santa is here? When will I be old enough to stay at home alone? or to watch an adult movie? or get a job and make money? Or the dread, knowing there is a dental appointment or a colonoscopy only two days away, and it would most surely come too soon.
Time is also what we make of it, or what we let happen to it. Time is us. Every one of us is part of the time-line of this world. And we can't do anything about it except, perhaps, use it well and enjoy it.
(apologies for misspelling that eminent Frenchman's name)
Monday, February 13, 2012
Point of View
As a teacher of literature to high school juniors and seniors, I found that teaching point of view was often misinterpreted as opinion.
It seems that this confusion exists in other areas, too, from editorials in magazines and newspapers to talk shows on television and radio, to conversations between friends over hamburgers and beer. It can be downright dangerous within a family.
We are all entitled to our opinions, right? We are entitled to be wrong, too, but we don't like to admit it.
What I find interesting is that most of us look to reliable sources of information when we are forming opinions. The problem is that we are often searching for affirmation rather than information. That's why the conservatives watch Fox News and the not-so-conservatives watch MSNBC.
We like to have our opinions validated. All of us. There is no feeling quite so triumphant than to sit down at a table with friends and find that we all share pretty much the same feelings about - oh, politics, religion, the economy. But there is nothing quite so uncomfortable as sitting down at a table with friends and discover that they all hate the candidate you like best, or all embrace a faith that you don't share, or have solutions for the country's huge debt load that you think are whacko.
That group of friends probably would not ask you to join them again, nor would you go if you were asked.
So, my point of view on this subject is that we should more-broadly inform ourselves on almost any topic so that we can embrace more than one person's opinion. That is gathering information and not affirmation.
If affirmation is more comfortable, and information is threatening to your position on any subject, just maybe your point of view needs a little stretching, a bit of painful recognition of ideas that don't match the ones you already have.
That goes for me, too.
It seems that this confusion exists in other areas, too, from editorials in magazines and newspapers to talk shows on television and radio, to conversations between friends over hamburgers and beer. It can be downright dangerous within a family.
We are all entitled to our opinions, right? We are entitled to be wrong, too, but we don't like to admit it.
What I find interesting is that most of us look to reliable sources of information when we are forming opinions. The problem is that we are often searching for affirmation rather than information. That's why the conservatives watch Fox News and the not-so-conservatives watch MSNBC.
We like to have our opinions validated. All of us. There is no feeling quite so triumphant than to sit down at a table with friends and find that we all share pretty much the same feelings about - oh, politics, religion, the economy. But there is nothing quite so uncomfortable as sitting down at a table with friends and discover that they all hate the candidate you like best, or all embrace a faith that you don't share, or have solutions for the country's huge debt load that you think are whacko.
That group of friends probably would not ask you to join them again, nor would you go if you were asked.
So, my point of view on this subject is that we should more-broadly inform ourselves on almost any topic so that we can embrace more than one person's opinion. That is gathering information and not affirmation.
If affirmation is more comfortable, and information is threatening to your position on any subject, just maybe your point of view needs a little stretching, a bit of painful recognition of ideas that don't match the ones you already have.
That goes for me, too.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Mercy, mercy
Today I had a 1 p.m. appointment for a radiologist to inject several pointy items into my right hip. I sat in the waiting room from 12:45 until 2. The procedure lasted fifteen minutes. But it was all worth it.
The nurse was pleasant and explained things as we went along. The "tech" was a young man who had hated English in high school but who asked interesting questions about my experiences in the classroom. When the doctor came in, he was deft and efficient. He told me he had done the same procedure on his wife not too long ago and how very helpful it been for her. He made me feel cheerful and hopeful.
And tonight my hip does not hurt. My thanks to all the folks at Mercy...
The nurse was pleasant and explained things as we went along. The "tech" was a young man who had hated English in high school but who asked interesting questions about my experiences in the classroom. When the doctor came in, he was deft and efficient. He told me he had done the same procedure on his wife not too long ago and how very helpful it been for her. He made me feel cheerful and hopeful.
And tonight my hip does not hurt. My thanks to all the folks at Mercy...
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Daughters-in-Law
Sometimes we just get lucky. Sometimes we are blessed with people in our lives who make them richer and better in every way. Since I have six sons, my opportunities for outstanding daughters-in-law are greater than most. And I have some real gems!
Jean helped me set up this blog, and I'll name her first, although she happens to be married to my next-to-the-youngest son. She is kind and smart and intuitive, a fine wife and mother, a more-than-talented artist, and I love her a lot.
I have loved and been loved by two Kathy's, a Diane, a Valerie who died too young, a Rona, and a Mary in addition to Jean. My two daughters are precious to me. I never had a sister, or a brother, but I have been multi-blest with the women my sons brought into the family.
Did I mention my son-in-law? Great guy!
Jean helped me set up this blog, and I'll name her first, although she happens to be married to my next-to-the-youngest son. She is kind and smart and intuitive, a fine wife and mother, a more-than-talented artist, and I love her a lot.
I have loved and been loved by two Kathy's, a Diane, a Valerie who died too young, a Rona, and a Mary in addition to Jean. My two daughters are precious to me. I never had a sister, or a brother, but I have been multi-blest with the women my sons brought into the family.
Did I mention my son-in-law? Great guy!
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