MEMORY

Not memories.  Memory.

It is often said that memory loss in older people leaves them with remembrances of times past, days when they were young, when they were healthy and strong, not necessarily perfect days but days when they were productive and still in control of their lives.

Forgetting where we left our keys or whether we sent a birthday card to a grandchild is not what I am writing about.

Forgetting where one was on January 2nd, at a loss to recall why a bill was received from the emergency room for January 2nd, the day one fell three times and had to be taken to the hospital...that is part of what I am writing about.

Forgetting how to write a check or looking at the ledger one has been using for years and not understanding what to do with it - that is what I am writing about.

Being sweet but distant, sitting in a chair with a book but never turning the pages, watching TV but with little interest or comprehension - that is what I am writing about.

There may be concern for details that do not matter.  There may be frantic worry about a letter or a bill that seemingly cannot be understood.  There may be insistence upon doing something or following a routine which is time-consuming and does not take into consideration the people who  care for us.  A stubbornness, a continuous asking of the same questions without comprehension of the answers.

And the tears.

How does one cope?  By remembering...the good days of yesterday.  Appreciating the not-so-bad days now.  Praying and hoping and - always - loving.